First off, thanks for all the kind words on my last post. I got a couple comments, emails and facebook messages, and I appreciate everyone's words.
Yesterday, I went running. Up into Forest Park. It was so cold my eyes were streaming tears and I was having to wipe them away every few feet. Once into the park, I just stopped running and stood still for what seemed a long time. It is so beautiful and quiet up there and I just started to think.
I might not be doing exactly what I want to do. I might not really like my job, or really like that I don’t have a career path, but I have so many things going for me.
I have the most amazing husband who supports me in everything. He is there whenever I need to vent, yell, cry, laugh, dream, talk, or be silent. He is always surprising me with kind things and he is always trying to help me figure out where I am meant to go.
I live in the most gorgeous city. In fact, I live in the North West. Everything is beautiful here. I love that I have a huge park out my back door, a city to my front. I can rent a car and be at the ocean or skiing on top of a mountain in 1 hour flat.
I have the most adorable studio. I love our space. It is so small and cute and perfect. It forces us to take a look at things and ask, do we really need this? We don’t have more than we need and we don’t have less.
I am strong. I am proud of all that I have accomplished so far. I have been so many places and done so many things. Why am I not more proud of that? I worked hard to support Eric. I work hard to make sure we have delicious food on the table at night. I work hard keeping our space clean and tidy. I work hard.
I guess what I am trying to say, is, I am learning to be content. Take one day at a time. Focus on what I can do this minute. I have goals. I have dreams. I have plans. But as great as those are, I am trying to enjoy where I am right now.
And that place is right here.
That's my girl. Now you can begin to experience joy instead of happiness. For when you learn contentment in whatever situation you find yourself, God is able to give you that precious gift. And as you wait in silence, you will be able to more clearly hear His voice when He is ready to speak. I am convinced that so often we drown out His voice because we are so eager to move forward thinking we already know what He is saying. As in the story of Elijah in the cave, God most often doesn't shout, He whispers.
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