It’s almost the weekend!

I have blown off my runs two days in a row. That is so not like me. I need this weekend like Portland needs some sun!

We are going to the Ocean with a group of friends from church. We have rented a house on the water, and I fully intend to do some serious beach running, yoga, laughing and relaxing.

My plan is to recharge and take next week one day at a time. I’m going to run, smile and breath every day starting on Saturday.

Happy Memorial Day weekend!

Let’s keep it real shall we?

 

I am struggling.

I know, I know. If you look back through my blog posts, I’m sure there are more posts about me struggling than ones about being happy or in a good place.

It’s weird because I thought I was really happy. School was going good, life was good, it was beginning to warm up here in Portland.

But as it seems my life goes, things got rocky again. I am struggling and to be honest, I don’t know why. There is not one specific thing that I could blame this on, it just seems to be an over all cloud around me.

I’m moody, emotional, tired, not giving a care about certain things, caring to much about others. Desperately wanting to go jump on the first flight anywhere exciting, but wanting to stay here at the same time.

And before you ask, no, it’s not PMS. You can ask Eric…this has been going on for a while. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m still loving school and I’m still loving on Portland…I’m just restless I guess? Wanting to go somewhere, anywhere. Wanting to explore and discover and be challenged.

Maybe that’s it, maybe I’m not challenged enough in school seeing as how it’s just classroom classes on management and front of the house stuff…but I don’t think so.

Someone told me recently that I need to figure out what kind of person I want to be. Who am I going to grow up into? Then my mom texted me today and told me never to forget who I was.

I think that is still something I am struggling with. Who am I and who am I shaping up to be? And is that question why I am at odds with myself lately?

People at school say I have changed since I started school. I have come out of my shell more they say. Lately someone told me that I look sad all the time. What does that mean? Am I sad?

I’m just frustrated that I’m still battling with this…drama. I think I thought that when I started school everything would just click. All of a sudden everything would feel right…but that’s not the case.

I am jealous of people that seem to have it all together because lately I feel like I’m falling apart. 

Photos

I was looking through our computer at photos, and I came across some that I'm loving at the moment.

Thought I would share them with you.

Weekend=fun!

It seems like the weather here doesn't want us to have nice weekends.

During the week we are blessed with 70+ sunny perfect days, but as soon as the weekend rolls around, the clouds come in and it gets cold.

We tried to take advantage of the 60 cloudy day yesterday by running all of our errands at once. That way, when today hit (55, cloudy and windy) we could stay inside and do exciting things like laundry and homework.

The day started out with my attempt at a long run. I was on deck for 13 miles, so we thought I could run to a farmers market that is 8 miles outside of town, shop and then I would run home.

Turns out after you stop running to eat and browse, your not that motivated to run home. Ah, who knew. So instead we took the bus back. ha.

We got this HUGE omelette to share at the farmers market.

Yeah, we hated it. =o)

This market was huge for fun vendors and lot's of yummy food!

New sports bra=excitement! Eric doesn't like the color though. What's wrong with purple tie-dye??

We spent part of our afternoon at Powell's books browsing, drooling and trying to figure out how I want to spend my birthday money.

And we finished off our night with a scrabble game that we both sucked at, and delicious beers.

I love the weekend.

Birthday

I had a birthday.

It was beautiful.

I am the worst model ever.

The End.

Here's something..

It will be my birthday in two days.
23 is not a big birthday and won't feel any different.
I have been celebrating my "birthday week" all week by bringing in things to school.
Monday I made cookies to bring, today I brought my second favorite flavor of m&m's (peanut butter) and tomorrow I am going to bring watermelon.
I wish birthdays were celebrated more.
It's the celebration of the day you were born for crying out loud. It's kind of a big deal.


In other news. I am loving on this song and this song.

Listen to them. Thank me later.

Yikes, this past weekend was crazy for big decisions.

We bought train tickets for our vacation to Vancouver B.C. in June.

I signed up for a marathon on July 30th.

One of Eric's co-workers offered to teach us how to wind surf! Yes!

I got my tattoo.

I have started looking at plane tickets to Europe for next summer after I graduate. (more on that another time.)

I think I love big decisions on the weekends. Makes me feel like I have accomplished something!

Two Months

It has been two months since my last post and I can honestly say life has slowed down a little. School is much less stressful and I almost don't even have homework on the weekends. ha

I have entered into the management part of school, and its basically 4-5 hours a day of class room time. I am taking a Service skills class (basically learning how to serve (waitress) a dining room successfully), I am taking a computer ops class, (learning word and excel) and a wine tasting class. Delicious.

Also in the afternoons after class is out, I am working in the dining room as a server. That's a four week long thing and I can honestly say that I can't wait for it to be over.

I do not like the whole serving aspect of a restaurant. I would much rather be the one cooking.

Although I have heard that I have a very wonderful demeanor in the dining room. I had two women hug me and tell me that I had the best smile and attitude. Another woman told me that I looked like Brittany Spears...yeah that kind of ruined my day.

I can't quite get over the fact that it's the middle of May already and we still are having rainy 50 degree days. Spring is taking it's time arriving. Doesn't it know I am ready for it??

My birthday is on Thursday and I can't say that I am to excited about it. 23 seems so young still, and it's not a "big" birthday like 25 or 30...so I think it will go by quietly.

I did buy myself a birthday present...it's a new tattoo. I'll put a photo of it up below.

Otherwise, I don't know if I have to much exciting news. We are just plugging along in life. Trying to take in this beautiful city and enjoy our lives here in Portland. I will for sure try and post more often. I have time now, so no excuses.